MEET A FEW OF OUR FAMILIES

Meet Stephen
Stephen was nine years old when he first came to DCAC. His elementary school teacher had discovered him in the bathroom touching another boy. Stephen's adoptive mother, Vanessa, was distraught. Vanessa and her husband had known about Stephen's history of sexual abuse and neglect when they adopted him, but they thought that with love and understanding he could overcome his problems and enjoy a normal childhood. Stephen's problems went back to the day he came home from the hospital as a baby. He was neglected and malnourished, and his father sexually abused him throughout his infancy and early childhood until parental rights were terminated when the boy was five years old. For the next two years, Stephen lived in three different foster homes. Each placement began hopefully, but his uncontrolled aggression and highly sexualized behavior toward the other children in the home eventually became too much even for foster parents experienced with deeply traumatized kids.

Over the six months that he came to DCAC, his therapist helped Stephen understand that he was not a "bad kid" or in any way to blame for what he had suffered, but that he did have the ability to change his behavior and to stop inflicting violence on others. The therapist also met every two weeks with Stephen and his family as a group. His parents learned ways to support their son and help him redirect his anger, while at the same time ensuring the safety and wellbeing of Stephen's adoptive brother and sister. And one of the most important things we did was to talk with Stephen's teachers and school administrators. We helped the staff to create a comprehensive safety program that ensured appropriate supervision and support for Stephen and also provided reassurance for other parents that their children were safe.

Meet Michael
Michael needed therapy for over two years to heal from the trauma of losing both parents to violence when he was only two years old. He could not comprehend what happened.

Michael's mother, Dometria, was trying to escape from a violent marriage. She had taken her son away and was filing for divorce, but her husband continued to phone and visit, and even stalk her whenever she left the house. On June 6, 2004 Marcelino beat his wife to death.

Michael became violent and aggressive. At night he was inconsolable and cried constantly for his mother. In addition to helping Michael work through the trauma with play therapy, DCAC helped his family learn ways to support the child through his grief, anger and confusion.

Violence in families - even murder - is all too common. How this family chose to deal with the aftermath is unusual and inspiring. Instead of recriminations and accusations, with DCAC’s support, both sides of the family came together in an effort to help Michael heal. Michael now lives with his maternal grandmother and grandfather and his aunt and uncle are all helping to care for him. Michael is once again playing with his cousins and has been able to find his way to peaceful sleep.

Michael's paternal grandmother is also involved in his upbringing. She has encouraged Michael's father to write to his son from prison where he has just begun a 40-year sentence. Michael is too young now, but one day he must come to terms with the fact that his mother was murdered by his father. If he is to grow up whole and healthy, he will need the love and support of both sides of his family.

Michael is one of 18 children treated at DCAC in 2005 after experiencing the violent death of a parent or other family member. Countless others are traumatized by years of living in a violent home. Michael's aunt, Amelinda, and her husband David have been so impressed with the way DCAC therapists helped their family that they have joined forces with us to raise awareness about domestic violence and also to help raise funds to treat traumatized child victims.

Meet Janice
Janice was only six years old when her 14-year-old cousin sexually assaulted her. Even though he told her not to say anything or he'd blame her, the little girl had the courage to tell her aunt. Janice's mother, Kelly, took her straight to the health clinic and the doctor immediately informed police.

Mother and daughter were asked to come to the Family Crisis Center the following morning to meet with investigators. Kelly worried throughout the night about what might happen the next day with the police and social service workers. Two years earlier, she had been stabbed by her boyfriend during a quarrel and she felt shamed and blamed by police and prosecutors for her involvement with the perpetrator. Kelly had lost faith in the system because she did not receive the help that she needed to feel safe, and now here was her daughter even more vulnerable.

When they arrived at the Family Crisis Center, Kelly and Janice were greeted by a forensic interviewer from the Denver Children's Advocacy Center. The interviewer explained everyone's roles and what would be happening in the next several hours.

During the interview Janice described two incidents of sexual abuse in great detail. She was able to relax and tell exactly what had happened. She helped the interviewer draw scenes of the places where the abuse occurred and was able to point out on drawings of bodies exactly what her cousin had done to her. Police and social service investigators received enough information from the interview to gather further evidence and arrest her cousin, Devon.

Janice was then taken down the hallway to see the doctor who had the specialized equipment necessary to conduct a thorough, non-invasive examination to gather evidence. She helped Janice understand that her body was all right. The evidence was then submitted to the Denver District Attorney’s office. A victim advocate from the D.A.'s office met with the family and provided referrals for services and support during the court process.

Six months later the case went to trial and Devon was found guilty of two counts of sex assault on a child. Kelly brought her daughter for treatment and later told investigators that she had regained her trust in the system because of how the team helped her family.

Meet Angie and her family
Clara brought her niece, Angie, to DCAC when she learned that the eight-year-old developmentally disabled girl had been sexually abused by her grandfather. Angie was living with her aunt because her mother had died and her father had abandoned her. With Angie's grandfather under police investigation, Clara also provided the child's sole financial support.

Clara was already struggling when she took her niece into her home. She had lost her job and was in danger of losing her home. When they were referred to Family-to-Family by a DCAC therapist, Clara and Angie had almost no food in the house, they were just about to have their gas and electricity cut off, and Angie's uncontrollable behavior made a difficult situation much more stressful.

The first goal of Steve, the Family-to-Family site coordinator, was to stabilize the situation. Steve worked with Clara's landlord and Xcel Energy to arrange a long-term payment plan, he provided gift cards so that Angie could have clothes for school, and he referred them to the local food bank to get free groceries.

Six months later, Clara had found a job and was beginning to catch up with her rent and bills. Angie made progress in therapy, and many of the behavioral problems related to her trauma began to subside. Steve worked with Clara to file the paperwork that will enable the Department of Human Services (DHS) to seek child support from Selena's father. Clara says that before she came to DCAC she didn't have any faith that DHS or social workers could help her. Now she says she appreciates the way Family-to-Family, DCAC, and the DHS combine practical assistance with emotional support, and she's optimistic about the future.

Meet Stella
Stella came to Family-to-Family while her children were in counseling at DCAC. They had been sexually abused first by Stella's boyfriend and then again in the foster home where they had been placed for their protection.

Although Stella had ejected her abusive boyfriend from the house and regained custody of her kids, the trauma left her deeply depressed and unable to leave the house to go to work. Maria, Family-to-Family advocate, sat down with Stella and talked with her for more than two hours. Stella felt guilty about being unable to protect her children in their own home, and yet she was also a victim of her abusive boyfriend. She was distrustful of the "system" that had allowed her children to be abused while in foster care.

Maria helped Stella create a plan to begin to rebuild her life. The first thing Stella needed was treatment for her depression, and Maria arranged a referral to Westside Clinic. Maria also suggested domestic violence counseling from Servicios de la Raza. Practical help included food and clothing to tide the family over until Stella was well enough to return to work.

Stella is now back at work and her children are on the road to recovery. Maria calls regularly to offer encouragement, and Stella stops by Family-to-Family while the kids are in therapy at DCAC. Stella credits Family-to Family and DCAC for giving her the support she needed to provide a stable environment for her children to thrive.

How You Can Help

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